The Journey of Awakening (1): My Son’s “Wormpicking”

My son’s first lesson when school starts was to collect his new textbook. “Dad, we’ve got a new textbook. Come and catch the worms together.”

Unsurprisingly, my son browsed the table of contents as quickly as a woodpecker pecks off the worm, went through the content, singled out the articles that were apparently publicized for so-called great truth to the elementary school students and said to me,

“Wormpicking done, these texts are for brainwashing .” The textbook published by the People’s Education Publishing House is a general version of the “language” teaching material, which is newly edited for each semester and approved by the Ministry of Education. The activity of text wormpicking I assigned for my son at the beginning of each term has become our regular activity. Wherever we picked out dull articles from a set of texts that seem to be full of tradition and culture, my son was always proud and felt a sense of accomplishment.

Seeing my son have such education every day, I cannot help worrying the extent of his suffering and torment in heart when he finds out the truth. As a very normal father, I do hope he becomes outstanding in one hand, which means he gets quite good scores, it does not necessarily to be the best, but definitely not lagging behind others.

However, telling him the truth sometimes can be a double-edged sword: it’ll help him to think and thus learn the dangers of those brainwashing texts. But on the other hand, will it hurt his immature mind? will he get distracted? will it have negative impact and eventually make him tired of learning and become rebellious? Can he handle this situation?

Adults like me may need to soothe their hearts when dealing with such contradictory situation. If it’s not dealt with properly, my good wish may turn to harm him.

As time passing by, I was able to put down the burden in my heart and relax my tightened nerves since my son did not show any of adverse symptoms as he grew up , instead he was very confident and quite naughty . This so-called naughty is a sign of self-confidence of young adult. He’d from time to time demonstrated me what brainwash is like. Sometimes soon after he was off school, he told me urgently how his teacher brainwashed them that day. Of course I was very happy with his insightfulness , but still I got to warn him: “Don’t be overjoyed. Because you still don’t fully comprehent the means of the Communist Party’s brainwash. It’s not enough just to be able to tell what brainwashing is . Sometimes they are not to convince you of their nonsense, but to make you believe nothing, then to be cynical, waste your life, to lose faith and to lose appetite, desire and courage to pursue fact, truth and sincerity as a young man. Thus they achieve their sinister intentions of brainwashing.”

My son was so frustrated that he asked thoughtfully, “What am I supposed to do? Does it mean that a person clearly understand that he is being brainwashed, but he can’t avoid the fate? “

I said: “There’s no choice otherwise. In the Communist Party’s brainwashing system, every Chinese has been completely wrapped by the all-round, multi-level, systematic multi-angle brainwashing throughout their lifetime. Don’t think you can survive CCP’s brainwashing without stains by it. Those, who entered the society without even primary education still voluntarily and willingly speak and think the way of the CCP’s norm and logics, and in this aspect they do not lag behind those who have received higher education, hence CCP’s brainwashing education. I have met so many people of this kind. No matter wherever you live, you got to be influenced or indoctrinated wilingly or passively by others at all times.
My son asked, “Can’t I keep my mind and get less influenced by others?” I replied, “I think it’s really hard.”

Then I shared my views with my son: First, it’s the commonality of all normal human beings to pursuit the stability.No one wants to live in the awe of uncertain and unknown future. Choosing freedom of thought(in China) means being cut off from the vast majority of people, or people who are utopianism. Even if this separation does not mean breaking with them or completely separated, but it means refusing to go back to the past and say goodbye to mediocrity. Yet, human beings have a collective life. Your determination cuts or reduce your contact with all people around you who do not share the same worldview. Also your relatives, your parents, brothers and sisters, spouse, lovers, sons and daughters, may be among them. Can you leave them and stay alone?

Second, in China people with independent thought tend to be so unique and different from other people. The more knowledge, connotation, thought and insights you have, the more likely you be regarded as an alien. Seemingly you are respected by others, but in fact it means they are far away from you. Over time, you become the “weird” in the eyes of all. You don’t intend to be that kind of person, but you are isolated and suddenly become a lonely person. Look at what those chicken soup for the soul offer you: What you’re going to do is not to stand out from the mediocrity, but to stay away from them. But may I ask what the value and meaning of existence to be away from you surroundings and society?
Third, in the land of Chian ruled by the Chinese Communist Party, you can show off whatever you want but never show that you have brain and are different. Because thinking is the original sin in the eyes of the Chinese Communist Ruler!

All the people follow this subliminal rule unknowingly, and if an unlucky guy who doesn’t understand the rules comes into this circle, they automatically close their eyes and stuff their ears, as if the person is completely non-existent like air. If you don’t believe it, just look at your father’s circle of friends. Whenever your dad posted pictures of your sister and you, or pictures of dining out, playing football or travelling, he received countless thumbs ups. But if he retweeted a slightly thoughtful text or post, no one responded.

So thought is simply a luxury in present-day China, and not everyone dares to own it let alone to show it. If you risk everything for it, just as Prometheus stole the “Fire of God”, then bear the consequence of the “God’s” severe punishment: Your friends’ circle will surely collapse.

After listening, my son shook his little head and said, “Dad, if you really can’t stand it, let’s emigrate!”

I replied to him, “I’ve considered of it. But it can be frustrating too since under the sky, there is no place where Chinese is spoken can be regarded as a clean land. It is difficult to find a place without CCP’s infiltration and corruption around the world. The CCP’s infiltration and influence has been omnipresent, just like today’s CCP virus released bluntently. We cannot get rid of it by escape. Moreover, Uncle Guo’s news has clearly told us: as long as the CCP exists, no one is safe no matter where you are on this planet. Because communism breeds infections and spread like the coronavirus. From the day communism was born a hundred odd years ago, their goal was to put red flags all over the world. If we can’t end the dictatorship of CCP in your dad’s lifetime, we would go nowhere to live in this vast world in the future.”

After listening, my son said: “This is all your own feelings and personal experience?” I replied, “Of course.”
My son asked: “Dad, how can you be so bravely and firmly pursuing your path?” I said, ” It required process and opportunity. Dad did not have this awareness and courage at the very beginning. As a matter of fact Dad used to be a timid guy, who didn’t dare to speak out in public, let alone to debate with people. In a word, Dad was not a very confident person.” My son then asked, “How did you take on a complete different path?”

His question made me ask myself: I have been with the whistleblower movement for almost four years. How did I embark on this path of self-awakening and never look back? Now it is time to recollect and make a summary as it is not just for my own memory but for my children and future generations, and also for all the other people.

The ancient Chinese people had a saying “You need to get yourself awakened and help yourself before you awake others and help others”. It means sharing one’s own experience and feeling will benefit others, as “Golden Needle” in Chinese legent fable.

I have no “Golden Needle” but surely I have great passion and a mission, also responsibility. I want to share withmore people of my personal experience, which I believe will encourage you to seek your own self-awakening, see the process of your soul getting saved and your spirit enlightened.

It would be a great pleasure if my writing can wake up people who are still hesitating or bring them some courage.

Author: Ruoyu

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6 months ago

ccp must go to hell